Loving God

A parish priest was giving a conference to a group of parents. In his talk he emphasized the importance of love in action especially in the family because “there can be no love without sacrifice.” After his conference, he distributed crosses to each couple a crucifix with the instruction: “Place this crucifix in your room where you quarrel most of the time. Looking at Jesus, it may help you remember his challenge to love one another.”

A wife came forward with the request: “Father, may I have five instead of one? I need to put a crucifix in every room of our house!”

In today’s gospel (Mt 22:34-40), Jesus reminds of the importance of love. We need to love God and love our neighbor. For Jesus, love is the greatest. Love is the most essential thing. Love is everything! He shows us that our loving has two dimensions:

1.    We need to love God above all. It’s the vertical dimension. It shows our connectedness to God. He should be first and foremost in our lives. For this reason Jesus stresses that we love God with all our heart, all our mind and all our soul. We show this by living God-centered lives. He becomes the center of our striving and our relationships.

2.    We need to love one another. This is the horizontal dimension. In the early Church the story is told about John, the beloved disciple of Jesus who spent the twilight years of his life in Ephesus. Every Sunday he would be carried in the midst of the congregation assembled for worship because though enfeebled with age, he continued preaching. Not being able anymore to deliver any long discourse, without fail he would repeat a five-word sermon over and over again: “My children, love one another.” When a disciple asked him why he kept on repeating the same message, John replied: “Because its from the Lord; and it’s the most important!”

In his younger years, John acted rashly, recklessly, impetuously and aggressively. He had an untamed temper; had an elitist attitude and highly ambitious. But he aged gracefully that in his later years he was called the apostle of love.

He began to understand the need for humility being a witness of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet. Jesus’ selfless sacrifice must have impacted John greatly because from thereon his life was characterized by his willingness to serve others and suffer for the sake of the gospel. He must have realized that the only way to honor the Jesus that he knew and loved was to make him known to as many people he could. His experience of God’s love naturally flowed in his compassion for others.

Indeed as there is truth in the saying: “where love and charity is, God is there.” God reigns.

The Cardinal's Legacy

I felt sad when the news came that the beloved Cebu Archbishop Emeritus Ricardo J. Cardinal Vidal has died. It was the general feeling of the whole Cebuano community having lost a devoted pastor, a shepherd who advocated dialogue and who was a leading voice of sobriety and faith during the troubled and dark times of our country’s history. In his twenty-nine years as the leader of the Catholic Church in Cebu, he showed himself as a reasonable and inspiring guide.

At 86, he is the most senior of the four cardinals in the Philippines. Yet he is so unassuming that he does not act as “a prince” of the Church. Instead, his style of leadership is that of a servant leader who is close to his flock and feels the pulse of his people. His death marks the end of an era.

The first time I met the Cardinal was way back in 1985 during my High School graduation where I received my diploma from his hands. After four years in the Aspirantate of Don Bosco Missionary Seminary in Lawaan,Talisay only 17 graduated. It was an exciting moment to be able to sing our “Alma Mater Song” before the Cardinal that marked the rite of passage from being boys to men. Ten of us would proceed to the College Seminary.

I would again stand in front of him during my presbyteral ordination on December 8, 1997 at the big Church of Lourdes Parish in Punta Princesa. It was from his very hands that I received the priceless gift of the priesthood. When he embraced me as a new priest, I could not forget what he whispered as a fatherly advice: “Do not just be any priest; be a holy Salesian Priest like St. John Bosco!”

Though I was a religious priest, he got to know me personally. Despite his years, his memory was sharp. I realized he was a friend of everyone: priest or lay faithful, the famous or the least, the mighty but also those at the periphery. His heart was that of a father ready to embrace and understand anyone who would come to him.

What amazes me of his character was his simplicity. When the local chapter of the Vocation Directors of the Philippines (DVP) was organizing the Vocation Jamboree, for several years we would invite him for the culminating mass at 4am. He would be there on time. He was concerned for vocations and no wonder the Archdiocese of Cebu is overflowing with priests. Years later, I would also invite him for the “send-off” rites for catechists who graduated from the Evangelium  Program. He was more than willing to support the training and the further enrichment of these educators to the faith. He was affable and cheerful in his simplicity such that it was not difficult to get along. But behind his simplicity I could sense the character of a man with depth and substance.

The Cardinal was spiritual but realistic. He once narrated that his journey to the priesthood started from his devotion to St. Dominic Savio. As a young boy, he revealed that he was inspired by his motto: “death rather than sin.” His love for the Eucharist was also inspired by this young saint. He claimed that he almost did not become a priest because he was sickly as a seminarian. But he prayed to the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament that his health improved. And it did! Not once, I heard that story that his priests could not agree during a meeting. As the story goes, he got the monstrance and placed it in their midst so that Jesus becomes the source of their unity.

Finally, I also admire his sincerity in serving and loving. He disclosed that Pope John Paul II made him a coadjutor archbishop in 1981 and sent him to Cebu. Initially, he refused because he did not know the language. He was not familiar with the people and the Cebuano culture. But all his fears were unfounded because he easily learned the language and tasted the natural goodness and deep faith of the Cebuano people. He fell in love with his assignment that upon retirement in 2011, he did not want to go back to his hometown in Mogpog but chose to remain here until his death. The cities of Cebu and Talisay conferred upon him the honor of being “an adopted son.”

Cardinal Vidal spent most of his life in Cebu as a shepherd and as a spiritual leader. But most of all, like all of us he was simply a steward who reminded us clergy and faithful that life is short. His death is not the end but a stepping stone to heaven. The greatest compliment he will ever receive are God’s assuring words: “Carding, you have been a good and faithful steward, enter the joy of your Master!”

This article appeared in my Column “Sharing the Word” in Cebu Daily News October 22, 2017.

Role of Families in Building Communion of Communities

In a Christian Living Class

The Teacher asked her Grade 3 students: Where is the dwelling place of God? Many hands were raised. Many answers came: In Heaven. In the Church. In the Blessed Sacrament… Little Johnny also raised his hand. His answer surprised everyone: “Teacher God dwells in our CR!” He affirmed.

Teacher: What? Why in your CR? Timidly the boy explains: Because every morning my dad knocks at the CR and says: “My God, are you still there?

Our topic for this Eucharist is: The Role of Families in Building Communion of Communities. I’d like to repeat the Question of the Grade 3 Teacher: “Where is the dwelling place of God? Where do we find Communion and Unity?

My answer: God is found at home! In my home. In your homes. Where there is love and charity: God is home! God is close.

Our Families have a BIG ROLE to play in creating a space for God in our families, in our homes. When Jesus proclaims: The Kingdom of God is at hand..  It begins in the home where we always say: Charity begins at home! Where there is unconditional love and real relationship, God is there! He becomes visible. He becomes present. God lives!

However, there is “crisis in the home” today because God is slowly being pushed away from the center. We are absorbing what the world gives importance. Our present culture is characterized by 3 Prevailing Philosophies that control our culture and our mentalities: Individualism. Hedonism. Consumerism. There are actually creeds. Beliefs. The gospel of our times.

The gospel of Individualism proclaims a Me-First Attitude. It is based on an all-consuming concern for self. The obvious fruits of an individualistic culture are greed and selfishness. We see it at work.

The gospel of Hedonism declares that pleasure and personal gratification are the most important things in life. Its motto is: if it feels good, just do it! It produces men and women who are lazy, lustful and gluttonous.

The gospel of Consumerism professes that happiness is found in having more and accumulating more. It prioritizes our wants rather than our needs. Pope Francis says that consumerism leads people to become greedier, to pursue “frivolous pleasures,” which dull our consciences towards the needs of others. 

These modern gospels are affecting us and our families through our parents. Recently Hugh Hefner or Hef, Playboy Founder died at 91 years old. Who was he? He is hailed as a trailblazer, a man ahead of his time, an entrepreneur and a great American. But in reality he had so many dark sides. He is the face of these prevailing philosophies today.

He led a life that was not only sexually self-indulgent but it objectified women, glamorized sin and caused millions to dive into sin with carefree abandon. He not only hurt women but helped in the breakdown of marriage, the destruction of the family and contributed to the culture of contraception and abortion.

A cartoon pictured him after his death at the gate of heaven being interviewed by an angel. The angel says: Welcome to heaven! Surprised, Hef said: “Heaven?! Are you kidding? I just left heaven.

Indeed he is the ultimate Playboy because his hedonistic lifestyle encouraged millions of men to treat sex as play time and to remain boys – addicted to adolescent fantasies about sex. What brought him to such a lifestyle? In an interview with Hef dropping all his sophisticated façade, he revealed that he was a “lonely child with a distant, unaffectionate mother.”

Beneath the trappings of a celebrity fornicator is a lonely little boy looking for the love.. hungry of the love of a mother. All his life he was looking for it somewhere.. Upon analysis, we have here a scary reality: Hurt people hurt people!

No wonder some parents – using Bo Sanchez’ words - are HORROR Parents. Somewhere along the way, they got hurt. And they started hurting you. Bo in his Book: “How to Deal with Horror Parents, Monster Kids and Freaky Siblings” shares four most common Horror Parents in the world today: Ghosts, Zombies, Werewolves and Vampires.

Our parents may have been one of these kind. Tendency is: we can continue the cycle. We will continue the pain and the hurting unless we decide that the cycle stops with us!

Ghosts are Absentee Parents. In the Philippines there are 14 million solo parents. My parents were Overseas Filipino Workers.  In the past I resented them for not being physically there during the most important events in my life. But I chose to forgive them. I thought they abandoned me but now I want to honor their sacrifice. They were working there because of us, children. I appreciate them and love them for doing this to us.

If your parents abandoned you, left your family or chose another one, you have to decide to move on. You can’t get stuck in your anger. Forgive the parent who abandoned you and move on.

Zombies are Apathetic Parents. These parents are physically present, but emotionally absent. They were busy with other things: their job, or business or friends. They’re passive and uninvolved. They don’t instruct, don’t discipline, don’t engage, and don’t spend time with their kids. They let their kids run wild and they don’t care. Break the cycle. Forgive them. They were ignorant. There are no Parenting Classes then and now. Learn from their mistakes. Move on..

Vampires are Absolute Parents. They are over-acting parents: over-controlling. Over-protective. Over-possessing. Their parenting isn’t age-appropriate. Don’t resent them for over-controlling. It was their way of loving you. Just see the good intentions behind their actions. Forgive them. Love them. Honor them. The cycle stops with you!

Werewolves are Abusive Parents. It might be verbal, emotional, spiritual abuse. Worse – sexual abuse. The same principle applies: forgive and move on. We realize we all have broken past and imperfect parents. No wonder we live a more violent and sex-oriented world. All the more we need to communicate TRUST and HOPE for healing to take place.

An African Proverb said: “It takes a village to raise a child.” The Educational Mission of the Family is all the more imperative today. Our Rector Major, Fr. Angel Fernadez points out that the Family is still the best place for the support, accompaniment and guidance of children.. The Family is the place in which the depth and beauty of the faith are taught and appreciated.

Our families may be broken; our parents are imperfect. Despite our sufferings and traumas, we are still hopeful. We journey on still embracing and lifting our crosses. Because in the midst of our pain and emptiness, God is very much present! 

As Pope Francis beautifully puts it: All family life is a “shepherding of mercy.” Each of us, by our love and care, leaves a mark on the life of others (AL # 322). Let us then, make a mark of mercy and love and our families will be surely God's dwelling place. 

So may I ask again: where is God’s dwelling place? He is not in the CR.. He is in the hearts of those who love and care!

God bless us all!

This Homily was delivered on Day 2 of John Paul II Seminar-Workshop held at Don Bosco Formation Center, Lawaan, Talisay City, Cebu  – October 19, 2017